It's not scary...

Arthur is fond of saying "It's not scary" when confronted with something that contradictorily is potentially rather scary, his was of practicing the very Buddhist principle of Mind over Matter. Scary monsters, ghost houses, skeletons, dragons...all are vulnerable to the formidable power of "It's not scary."

My son is amazing, and today, he is my role model.

When he was born, as most anyone who is family or friend enough to be remotely interested in our blog to know, the sky split open and the angels sang and blah blah blah, all those amazing things that happen when a baby is born--toe counting, snuggles, oohs, aahs, and so forth. And then, before you could say "postnatal martini," the inside of my c-section incision and consequently my abdominal wall became infected, split open about 4 and a half inches, strangulated two feet of my intestines, and I spent most of the next five weeks in the hospital. In the end, I had an abdominal reconstruction and now I have franken-belly; a good section of my belly is actually the former property of someone who has long since moved on into the ethereal hereafter (here's where I say thank you to everyone who is an organ donor! It saved my life).

Fastforward two and a half years later (exactly the amount of time I was told to wait before having another child) and loads of reassurance from my lovely, adorable doctor, and our little trio sat oohing and aahing over the next Owen, as seen here:

Dr. S: Do you want a boy or a girl?
Arthur: Grill!
Dr. S: What will you call the baby?
Arthur: Baby's name is Lucy!

He really wants a girl, which makes since because he is fascinated with girls.

Anyway, then we began discussing the necessary c-section. Only ten percent of Oklahoma doctors are insured to perform VBACS (vaginal after c-section births), and our hospital doesn't allow them at all, from my understanding. But factor in the Frankenbelly and VBAC is completely off the table anyway.

My PCP mentioned that I will probably be on antibiotics for the end of my pregnancy due to the human mesh thingy (Alloderm) in my tummy. Baby doctor is sending me to my surgeon, who she says may need to be present, and there's also a chance he will need to replace the mesh. This would mean a longer, more difficult recovery, and similar to last time, I would be unable to carry the baby for several weeks or longer (in Arthur's case, it was until he was about four months old). My doctor hasn't ever needed to cut through hernia mesh either, but was very positive about it; she says it's just something she will need to study up on and discuss with the surgeon ahead of time. She's amazingly reassuring. I told her I haven't been able to find any scholarly literature on this kind of surgery, c-section through major mesh reconstruction, and she agreed that there is really no information out there. However, my surgeon will be able to get us through this. He never seemed concerned about any future pregnancies, with the exception of telling me to wait at least two years or "it would be an abdominal disaster" (his words), which makes me feel less uneasy, at least marginally. I was already planning on seeing my surgeon, as his office is participating in research on my surgery since it was a very recent technology when it was used on me. Now, however, I am kind of dreading it. But it's not scary, right?

When absolutely terrified, there is only one thing to do: plan! I am going to plan my hospital stay to be the most fabulous four days to a week (depending on the details of the surgery) one can spend in a hospital.

These are my must-haves:

I have recently taken to wearing ballet slippers around the house because Justin is tired of helping me repair injured feet from our unfinished hardwood (and I've been to urgent care twice for splinters so deep they were not suitable for home surgery). I hate wearing slippers around the house, even though I have the cutest Nick & Nora sock monkey slippers. Ballet slippers protect my feet and keep them warm, feel almost bare, and don't make me feel like a schlumpy housewife. My current pair will do, but I sure would like to have these ballet slippers from HydraHeart on Etsy:

Yummy shampoo and conditioner.

Lace peignoir robe to wear over my gown like this one from Stop the Clock on Etsy.

Something over-the-top to pull my hair back. Ban.do over-the-top.

Literary junk food...an easy, gratifying read.

And to eat:

Tuna tartare. I would love to have the Tsunami recipe, but I will take what I can get.